Well I've been thinking a Lot Today...

This man makes me think a lot. If you don't know who this is- you should and I'm very sorry that you don't. This is Ben Folds. I don't think i could love an artist as much as I love him, maybe Ingrid Michealson. (that's beside the point.)
"i say to my reflection
god, please spare me more rejection
'cause my peers, they criticize me....
try to put it all behind me"
And I do I just would like to pretend like this part of my life didn't actually exist and we could fast forward through this. Or find someone who would understand what it means when I say that I feel like I've been placed in a land that I don't belong with people who I can't possibly relate to.try. Its not that I don't try. Or maybe am I like the one person in this place that doesn't belong here? Or is everyone else here feeling the same exact way? Every adult says these are the best days of my life. If that's the case- I'd rather not.



5:54 pm
I don't have any depth perception.
Both literally and figuratively..
Saying one thing to you could ruin the friendship I've worked so hard to get. But if I could see past this i could make a better decision. The thing is that I can't ever see past the immediate.
I think that's where I messed up with that last thing. I just saw how he made me happy and bubblily and smiles and i could talk to him. But i didn't think of who I was and who he was. I'm not the kind of girl he would go for. I can't program a robot. I can't name off Pythag triples. I'm like five steps below that. That's not who i am. He talks about things I don't understand...

So I'm documenting that at approximately 11 pm on 10/30/10 I gave up on you.