Lonely

Synonyms: abandoned, alone, apart, by oneself, comfortless, companionless, deserted, desolate, destitute, disconsolate, down, empty, estranged, forsaken, isolated, lonesome, outcast, reclusive, rejected, secluded, single, solitary, unattended, unbefriended, uncherished


So here's the thing..
I am alone, which is not a big deal in and of itself. Its the way in which I'm alone that is a big deal. Its the longing of wanting to be longed for, the desire to be desired. This is a really self-conscious place I'm in. And I'm not a very big fan. I haven't been self conscious in awhile so this is realllllly lame. I thought I was over this.. Apparently not..

"Keep pushing through, you'll get through it"
My entire life has been a 'push through it' and quite frankly I need a break from pushing.
Because I'm getting tired of pushing with no results. I'm tired of working my heart out for no reason. I'm tired of losing everything to get nothing in return. I don't want to 'push through it' I need this to happen, and happen soon. I'm losing hope, loosening my grasp.
I want desperately to be done with this scene.