Fuck that you are you.
Seriously. fuck.
I need to stop.
Stop acknowledging that you exist, stop talking to you.
Þar sem þú ert alveg á mörkum í þúsund ástæður
But you're the only one that can talk me down.
I'm not saying that to say that.
I'm not saying that as flattery. I'm speaking truths.
I hate that it feels like you are living my life for me.
I hate the need to ask you permission in my life.
I hate that you accept it.
I hate a lot about this right now.
Ian- I'm not sure what the fuck happened in book club today because 1. practically nothing was said about the book. and 2. I opened up to you like a lot. I don't know if that was okay, but I felt comfortable enough. (I'll let you know when I receive a text about this) And I guess I need you to know that that was the first time I told anyone since I finished therapy for it. ALSO I'm sorry I sang loudly in your car.
Its strange to see that how I'm more comfortable with myself since finishing all my PTSD stuff. Like. I sang in the car with friends and didn't care. And I sang in front of people mod G today too. Hm. I wasn't good at silence before the PTSD work, I wasn't good at simply being but I am now. I guess that's what's important right? "its not where you've been, its where you're going" Well. I feel like that depends on how where you've been affects you. I hate his name so much I call everyone by it by a nickname that I will make up for them. That will affect where I am going. I doubt I would be able to date someone with the same name. It would be uncomfortable for me.
That could just be for now though..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO2FwnG55l8&NR=1
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