I've fallen so far away from the place that I started from

"What have I become?
Something soft and really quite dumb"

Ingrid Michealson. I love how much I can relate to you. Its fantastic, really.

Anyways original point. This is nuts how different I am from two years ago.
granted I am becoming hard lately, I see that and am trying to reverse that.
But I'm soft now. Or softer. Or have softer tendencies.
I don't know how to explain it.
But i feel more of a longing to be close to individuals.
to search them and find their secrets and love them for whoever they are.


you have a lot to do with that.


"But you make me think that maybe I won't die alone
Maybe I won't die alone"

Finished PSTD therapy. for good.
Last night was my very last night.
We went dress shopping as a symbol of my re-gaining my beauty that was stolen.
A year ago I couldn't say his name because I looked at myself as broken and defeated by him.
Now I can look in the mirror and see happy and pretty and good things.
Because he didn't take them away. He just caused me to doubt myself.
I cried last night. Saying goodbye to her.
So much work, so much has gone between us.
I didn't cry in front of her though, I waited until I got in the car.
And I shed a couple "I'll miss her more dearly than you can know" tears.


It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference. ~Tom Brokaw
You made a difference in me; in my family; in my life.