Yeah He likes his fishing pole..

So on Saturday I realized that I've given way too much of my heart away.

I know its stupid but I can't understand anything fully until I have a metaphor to go along with it.

Everyone and their brother has taken a sip from my water bottle..

I guess that it hit me hard when he said that you can't get any of your heart back.

I guess my hearts only half as full as it was at the beginning..

I want my future husband to be be able to have all of my heart (BESIDES FOR GOD)

and that can be the complete truth..

not anymore.

but I can try to hold on to the heart that I have.

I need to concentrate on holding onto my heart for two men; God and my husband.

My Future Husband..

that sounds so creepy.

so far away..

something I have to strive for.

something I have to save everything for.

something I don't know will happen..

Its weird to thnk of myself as "Future Wife to..."

To whomever God has made for me I suppose..

But the who part of that is what worries me.

I'M NOT PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED ANYTIME SOON AND I'M STRESSED!

:[

I need to stop thinking about boys.

Because currently boys are my only option.

and I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a boy...

and you are a boy. Not a man.

Not what I need. Not what I'm looking for.

I DON'T need someone.

I just don't.

I would like to have someone close. Someone that I can like but not date.

Someone to have.

Someone to think I could date.. Someone that I could see myself with..

STOP you don't need it.

but it would be nice...

Hm.

I dunno.

God's gotta take the wheel on this one, because I have no idea why I can't do this..