Though it won't be today, Someday i'll hope again

I don't even know what to say to you.
You made this decision with me.
and you run away.
I wish that everytime I hit you I could just have you to myself.
you don't even understand what you're doing to me.
Three days ago, you like me and want to date.
Today. You don't even want to touch me.
WHAT is wrong with you?!
Ugh.
I'm done.
(i'mjustsayingthat)

Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.
I can't handle this.
Not by myself. But I don't want to drag anyone into this.
This is a pain that is unsharable.
This pain causes hate and fear. Tears..
Most scary of all.. vulnerability...
God. I have him.
butineedahug.
I need something, someone to cling to.
God. I have him.
but i'm not sure I can handle this..
I need some hope.
More than anything else.
I've forgotten to..
I cling to your promise, there will be a dawn
I just got its coming soon.
I just don't know how I'm going to be able to deal with this.
By myself.
'Get over it'
'You're giving him more power by crying, feeling sad, feeling hopeless'
'You should just forget about it'
No.
You have no idea how this has eaten me completely.
Acid-like. Eaten away at the very existence of me.
I'm so used to smiling and working on everyone else..
I can't smile and deal with this.
I can't deal with this at all.
I feel like one single person on an island.
An island too far from land to swim to. but close enough to see.
To see everyone else.
Being happy.
Laughing.
Being able to date and not be petrified.
I wonder if you know that.
I wonder if you even remember, or care for that matter.
I wonder if you know how my body screams for me to run like hell whenever you enter a room.
I wonder what you would say if you did.
If you knew how afraid of you I am. Still to this day.
How the dislike of you wells up in my body every time you get in front of a class.
I wonder how your friends would react, if they knew.
You.
Perfect you.
Straight A's you.
NHS you.
Talented musican.
Amazing athlete.
Rapist.
I hate you.
HATEISASINHATEISASIN.

Which one doesn't fit?