After all this has passed,

i still will remain
After i've cried my last,
there'll be beauty from pain

my whole world is the pain inside me.
the best I can do is just get through the day.
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place..

I guess this is it.
I've been getting through days. every day at a time.
But there's no one at the end of the finish line of everyday saying that I did okay.
In fact its usually the opposite.

Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down

I look back and see where I've come from.
I've made so much progress.
but why do I want to go back to that?
Why do I want to explode?
Why do I want to breakdown? scream? hurt? implode?
THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

Its funny that whenever I'm upset Superchick always speaks to me.
even when I was in that place.
That place where I don't remember going to school or doing anything.
Everything during those months is blurry.
Like they never happened.
But they did.



No one talks to her, she feels so alone
Shes in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she's brave,
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out a hero is made

It sucked not being there with plastic spoons. signing out pens.
it was coming home. that made it real.

I need to ask for a favor.
I'm not actually expecting anyone to be reading this.
Because I honestly doubt anyone does...
but if you do.
Tell me I did okay.
Tell me I did well.
I don't get to have a 'you done good kid'
and I need one.

I've been so strong for so long.
I don't think I can be strong anymore.