ALSO.
I'm really glad/upset that Meg wasn't there because I was such a swearing sailor.
I show up at school and immediately started making sexual jokes and swearing.
Its pretty gay how I can't be like.. "Oh thats not what I do"
But considering lately I haven't been feeling it..
I felt like I would be a hypocrite by saying that.
But I'll be fine.
Right?
I don't want to trust God with everything.
I don't want to move to the other side of the world.
I want to live the life I expected.
You could call the past week or so a crisis of faith.
Or something along those lines.
God keeps doing these awesome things in people's lives.
And its like He's separating me from everyone else.
Slowly... but steadily.
I'm on a little island of Miranda and watching everyone else's life go by..
Its not where I want to be..
and it gets me really sad..
I kind of just want to be done now..
just with everything.
maybe if I went somewhere else,
I could be seen as what I am.
What I could be,
And not what I've done,
Or who I've been.
And I'm just a little on edge right now
And you showing up today didn't help.
asshole.
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