Thanks For That...

I let you in.
like all the way in.
you knew my every fear, every fact, every failure.
And you abandoned me.
you left me there bleeding.
We've come through so much and you just walked away.
And now I'm different around guy friends; and thats mainly because of you.
I don't even know what to say to you.
I'm glad you're losing your job. I'm glad that you're still single and miserable.

you made me so sad and you don't even care..

All I've ever dreamed of to come.

I'm not letting it build up this time, and I think that's making all the difference.

Worried and scared about my daddy.. its usually me, not anyone else.
I don't know what to do from this side..
This isn't what I'm used to, not whats comfortable.
But I'm using everything I have to not break down, but in a healthy way.
:]
I've made a lot of progress. Considering where I was a year ago; mentally, physically, and spiritually.

I think that this could be really good for me.

I Am Free :]

I'm going to ramble on and on about how amazing God is.
Just because I'm like.. exploding with love for Him :]
okay SO!
Wouldn't it be awesome to know and talk to someone who like knows literally EVERYTHING. who knows exactly how everything is going to turn out. who knows your every thought, your every dream, your every struggle, your every desire.
And wouldn't it be awesome to know that the One who made everything you can see, and everything you CAN'T see loves you. no total understatement. who loves YOU so much that He would give up His son to die in the way they killed criminals.
HE LOVES YOU THAT MUCH!
He loves you enough to forget EVERYTHING you've done, everything you will do.
Please understand that this totally BLOWS my mind in like every way possible.
EVERYTHING... Crazy.
GAH! God is just so beyond amazing. Beyond awesome. Beyond everything and anything out there.
phew. Now I'm going to go in my room and sing and pray and get excited. :]

ickyickyicky

Holy Moses! So tired man.
I've been exhausted for four days straight=NO fun

ON A BRIGHTER NOTE
Psalm 32!
READ IT READ IT READ IT!
:]

Having a goal is always either really great for me or TERRIBLE for me.
And I have a new goal; NCAVC<3
kind of like Criminal Minds.
(but its actually nothing like that in real life)
I'm so excited :]
I've started doing the FBI circet training today.
I'm going to do that everrryyyday from now until I get into the FBI <3

LOST is onn :D
LASTT season :] so exciting i love it<3

I keep falling asleep.. And I'm not sure why. Its creeping me out..
I'm also ticing like a monster.. NO FUN.

Hello Trauma!

It stinks that in order to forget this, I have to remember it.
All of it.
No fun.

Today was really okay.
I guess it was balanced out;
-Little one way to come into school NOT high :] good job, please continue to do this.
-Thanks for jumping out at me and causing a panic attack. Gah please just disappear.
-Chem made sense today.. no seriously it did.
-I'm so happy we're talking again, you have no idea. I say 'talking again' because I'm not sure what we are exactly..
-Those little God moments throughout my day were really noticeable today :]Yay!

Ohman! So I'm reading The Shining by Stephen King Holy Moley! So good. I love stories like this, stories that give me goosebumps. :D

New Semester, New start.
-Trying to do homework EVERY day.
-Handing things IN!
-Trying to be nice to Everyone so people can see God's love in me.
-Not giving in to temptations.
-Not giving in to fear.
-Not giving in.

:] This will be good.

fade away

So, I'm pretty sure I have strep. again.

I finished up my penicillin literally two days ago, and I have strep again.

So lame.

Last night was amazing.

I went to that place, that place where its just me and Him.

My favorite place.

I gave it all to Him, what I should have been doing. He's got this.

Forgive yourself, Miranda. It already gone to Him. Let it go. Anything that you've done, anything that's been done to you, just let it be. Drop your baggage. Be done with it.

Thank you, God.

You do make it go away, I've been gripping onto it for so long but its time to just loosen up my grip and let it fade away...